Valentine's Day - Love it or Hate it

Valentine's  Day once again.

Ahh...the holiday of love. You either love it, or hate it.

I've held both sentiments throughout my life. But...in the end, I'm a hopeless romantic. Quote me Elizabeth Barrett Browning's classic: "How do I love thee? Let me count the ways..."

Isn't that a wonderful exercise to share with your heart's desire. Count the ways you love him or her. Count the ways you want to love him or her.

The latter could get really fun.

Looking up Valentine's  traditions from the past, one that I found rather hilarious was the Victorian Age practice of sending "vinegar valentines." 

These were sent to unwanted suitors.

One of these Valentines I saw on The History Channel's Web Site went a little something like this:

     To my Valentine

     Tis a lemon that I hand you and bid you know.       'skiddoo,'

     Because I love another-there is no chance for         you!

Today, I'm more likely to take a moment to appreciate lines like:

"I crave your mouth, your voice, your hair..." Neruda

"i carry your heart with me(i carry it in my heart) i am never without it..." Cummings

"The modern biographers ask the rude, irrelevant question of our age, as if the event of two bodies meshing together establishes the degree of love, forgetting how softly Eros walked in the nineteenth-century, how a hand held overlong or a gaze anchored in someone's eyes could unseat a heart..." Mueller.

Those lines have meaning.

Then I think of spirit animals. Butterflies come to mind. They seem appropriate for me.

Native Americans saw butterflies as messengers of transformation. I am on a journey of transformation. 

And according to Whatismyspiritanimal.com, in China, "newlyweds were often given gifts bearing two butterfly images to insure their marital happiness and harmony."

Sweet.

Quite a few marriage proposals are made on Valentine's  Day. Many flowers, cards, chocolates and jewelry are purchased on this day as well.

Hmmm... as for purchases... I guess I bought three out of the four.

Is Your Life On Hold?

  I was traveling from Dallas to Austin on Interstate 35 recently with a colleague when she noticed the sky ahead. The sun was setting.The serene horizon was dotted with leaveless trees and the occasional building silhouetted in blacks and grays. Orange, pink and blue shaded clouds floated above us.

A recording of one of Les Brown's motivational sessions spewed from the car radio. My colleague prefers listening to Audible on her commutes.

She pointed out the sunset, the landscape. Our conversation moved to painting. 

"I love painting, she said. It is her way of relaxing when she's not busy, which isn't often.

She is married, a mother of a toddler and works fulltime.

Then Les Brown chimed in, mentioning how he put his life on hold for 10 years. He had lost confidence in himself after experiencing failure in his professional life. 

I love painting, too. I love writing, as well. I snapped a few pictures of the scene outside the car. 

Brown's and my colleague's voice melted away. The humming of the car cruising along the highway muted. 

Just my inner voice drummed in my inner ears.

"Have I been on hold? Yeah, I have."

Asked and answered. 

It doesn't take much, I guess, for a person to lose confidence. Whether it is a setback at work or a failure in a romantic relationship, for example, it doesn't take much to force us to retreat into our comfort zone where it is safe.

So we think.

That safety is an illusion. It is life put on hold. That equals life not lived to the fullest.

Time does not stop. The sun sets every night. The sun rises every morning. 

If we are not seeking what makes us happy, seeking that which fulfills us, what is the point?

As the minutes passed, the sun set. The colorful sky only minutes before now was covered in black and grey hues.

"Time to bring the colors back," I thought. "Time to unpause every segment of my life that is on hold."

Press play.