Are You Using All Five Layers Of Characterization?

In my freshman college writing classes, I ask my students to understand 10 literary terms and identify them in the readings we go through during the term. 

Those basic terms are theme, protagonist, antagonist, character, characterization, conflict, image, symbol, setting, and dialogue. I ask them to read my Mall Demons Urban Fantasy Series, as well as, The Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis. 

As a literary element, characterization is a powerful tool for writers. I'm convinced that readers will love your story if they understand and appreciate your characters. Readers can't understand or appreciate your characters if you don't do the work to fully characterize them. 

Here are five layers of characterization to help you flesh out your characters whether they are protagonists, antagonists or supporting characters.

First of all, characterization is how you, the writer, describe or develop your characters. The five layers to do that are to show the character's appearance, describe the character's actions, reveal the character's thoughts, allow the character to speak, and display how other characters react to the said character.

What does all that look like? My next blog will provide examples.

Latest From Daniel - A Mall Demons Character Journal

Here's the latest from Daniel, the main character in my Mall Demons Urban Fantasy Series (To follow Daniel's Journal, subscribe to the Pheed):

Nobody can see Evangeline and Watcher in their spiritual form because they apparently exist outside of our reality. It's like another dimension. Evangeline says I'm special because I felt them at my bed. Just couldn't see them. Come to think of it, I had a weird feeling when I was sitting outside the mall yesterday. I also felt it at the restaurant and walking home. Think I'll ask them about it. © 2013 pheed.com/Daniel1

Mall Demons Journal In The Works

How would you react if an angel appeared to you in the middle of the night telling you that the fate of the world depended on you?

That is what my protagonist must face in the Mall Demons Urban Fantasy Series I'm currently writing. Daniel is his name. He's a Mexican-American Teen living in the Washington DC area. Now he is all that stands in the way of a Hell on Earth.

Can you say STRESS!

Fortunately, Daniel is a journaling type of guy. So, all those thoughts, all those fears are what he puts down in his personal journal. That journal will soon be available online. Daniel needs to write down what he goes through as it's happening. It helps him think through situations. Soon, you'll be able to read his thoughts as he fights the demons determined to create a Hell on Earth.

Modern Fantasy and Allusions

I love allusions. They can pack a great punch for writers who want to lay out a great deal of meaning in a few words. I use them quite a bit in my writing of the Mall Demons Urban Fantasy stories.

What is an allusion? Basically a casual reference to a historical or literary character, event, or something. Some of the most powerful allusions - especially if  you're writing spiritual fiction - come from the Bible. Here's an example from one of my Mall Demons stories. Can you guess what story it comes from in the Bible?

From Chapter Four in the Mall Demons stories:

"We have roamed through this shopping center and have found it suitable for our needs," Sargas said.
At Sargas' words, the imps drew nearer again so that their evil faces appeared to be hovering in the darkness. Sargas continued.
"We have gone back and forth," he said. "Its inhabitants willingly belong to us."

And a little later:

"One has been chosen to prove he is blameless and upright. The chosen fears God and shuns evil. The fate of this ground shall be decided through him. The hedge around him shall be loosened."

Some of that dialogue is nearly word for word from the Bible. It is from a story that parallels what my protagonist is about to go through at this part of the Mall Demons story. My hope is if readers make the connection with the Biblical reference, they will then understand what my protagonist is about to go through.

Do  you use allusions in your writing? Whether you're writing Fantasy or another genre, give it a try.

Fantasy Stories: The Perfect Venue for Moral Questions

I recently read a quote by Paul S. Kemp, the New York Times bestselling novelist and creator of Erevis Cale:

Fantasy's ability to serve as a perfect venue for moral questions is (among a few other things) what gives the genre its enduring strength.

Some basic moral questions are at the heart of my Mall Demons Urban Fantasy Series.

In another bit of reading going back to 2001, I recall a foreword written by Anne Perry in "Writing the Breakout Novel," by Donald Maas:

Sometimes I am asked, "Is it true you should write what you know about?" I say, "No, write what you care about. If you don't know, you'll find out. But if you don't care, why should anyone else?"

The moral questions behind the Mall Demons Series are some I "care about." Questions, I dare say, I lose sleep over; questions I contemplate in the middle of the day, as well, leading me to stare into space for minutes at a time.

I begin the Prelude to Book One of the Mall Demons Series with a quote from "Paradise Lost."

Millions of spiritual creatures walk the earth Unseen, both when we wake, and when we sleep.

I follow it with the line: "Your mind is your greatest enemy." And then with this: "WARNING: The spiritual battle is real."

The questions I ask all my characters (and possibly ones my readers may ask as they spend time with my stories) are these: Which side are you on? Who do you serve?

Mall Demons Is Young Adult Fiction

The more I tinker with my manuscript, the more I'm convinced that it is Modern Fantasy or Urban Fantasy, depending on which term you like. It also fits in the Spiritual/Religion genre since at its heart is a spiritual battle between the forces of Heaven and Hell.

However, it is written for a Young Adult audience. Because of that, I've changed the description to the already-published Prelude to the Mall Demons Series. I applied the first change to my book description on my GoodReads.com page. It goes like this:

In this Young Adult/Modern Fantasy with a spiritual twist, catch up with demons who have been waging a war against humanity for thousands of years. In their latest effort to create a Hell on earth, the demons have targeted a shopping mall outside of Washington DC. The leader of the dark forces has arrived and is training an apprentice. But the Army of Heaven has noticed and is mobilizing in expectation of the Chosen One. Meet an extraordinary warrior angel, Evangeline, who is eager to get in the fight. She and a mysterious hooded figure named Watcher are looking to pay back an age-old wrong. This prelude sets the stage for Book One of the Mall Demons Fantasy Book Series. Readers will be introduced to the shrewd master demon as he shares a valuable lesson with his apprentice about tempting mankind. Can a man run from his own death? The master demon has the answer, but will his apprentice listen?

Contemporary or Urban Fantasy?

What is the difference between contemporary and urban fantasy?

Just two different terms for stories with magical or supernatural elements set in the real world.
Do you agree? Subgenres are a topic of debate.

But "contemporary" and "urban" as terms are fairly synonymous.

Now as far as setting is concerned, contemporary or urban fantasy sticks to the present day. I was just reading through E.M. Forster's classic, Aspects of the Novel. He offers an explanation of fantasy that is as good as any for its simplicity: "It implies the supernatural."

In another section, Forster compares nonfantasy works to fantasy, saying that the writer of nonfantasy says, "Here is something that might occur in your lives." Forster then points out that the "fantasist" says, "Here's something that could not occur."

Combining what could occur with what couldn't in your life is the realm of contemporary or urban fantasy. It is what excites me about the subgenre. That is why my Mall Demons series is set in a modern-day mall.

Why I Like Urban Fantasy

Imagine you're at the mall in the middle of the day. You're hungry. So, you head on over to the food court for some noodles.

What if...

While you're standing in line for a bite to eat, something is stalking you, and you don't even know it. Hidden in plain sight is a demon intent on taking your soul. He's attacking you this very minute. You just don't feel it. You can't see him because this demon exists in a spirit realm your eyes can not penetrate.

And the story begins. It's an urban fantasy with a spiritual twist because the setting is a modern day mall. It could be any mall. They are all basically the same. But spirits roam here. They're demons who hope to create a Hell on earth. You're the first target.

Of course, that's the basic premise to my Mall Demons Urban Fantasy story. I like the sub-genre because the setting is familiar to readers. It's the mall in my story. For Harry Potter, it was mostly modern-day England. And yet, there's more to the setting. There's a dual reality that categorizes such stories as fantasy - and because that reality (or those realities) includes a familiar cityscape, we have what is known as urban fantasy.

We're not talking Tolkien's Middle Earth here. Since I often take walks around the nearby mall in between classes, my setting in Mall Demons resembles a typical urban American mall. I can make quick references to the food court, for example. An image immediately pops into the reader's mind of the food courts he or she has frequented.

I've colored my fictional setting with the sensory memories of my readers by simply mentioning two words: "food court". That's what I find comforting about Urban Fantasy. The way I see it, I don't have to spend as much time with description - unless it's necessary to the plot. That might cause a problem if one of my readers has never been in a food court. But since I see my core audience as middle school/teens, I feel pretty safe assuming my readers won't draw a mental blank when I say "food court."

Of course, I could be wrong. What do you think?

Mall Demons Series Returning

As I mentioned in my previous blog entry, I have been on a writing sabbatical over the last few months. That kept the Mall Demons series on hold.

Over the next few weeks, I'll be working on the series again. Beginning Tuesday I'll republish the previous chapters in preparation for the release of new chapters in the coming weeks.

The plan had been to publish "The Chosen..." in January 2012. Although I don't have a firm date for it, I'm now looking at publishing late this fall or winter. The biggest hurdle is finding the right cover art. 

More on that later.

You can still find the prelude to "The Chosen..." as a Kindle e-book on Amazon.com 

Free Urban Fantasy E-Book

There's still one free gift copy of 'Death Speaks Loudest To Those Who Flee', the extended Kindle version. For a chance to win the free Kindle e-book, simply enter your comment below. Then I can message you back if you're the winner. The Kindle version differs considerably from the flash fiction story I published on Wattpad.com during the summer of 2011.

The Kindle version serves as a prelude to my upcoming Mall Demons fantasy novels. I am currently editing the first novel in the series, 'The Chosen Must Fall.'

The free gift copy of 'Death Speaks...' includes a teaser chapter from 'The Chosen Must Fall.' This has been fun to write. It is amazing how stories begin to tell themselves, and how characters beg to come to life. In writing this tale of good vs evil, I have been introduced to a strong, heroic warrior angel named Evangeline. 

She is joined by a tortured character who despite all the trials he has been through is able to see the good in life. Watcher definitely is one of those characters that surprised me. He demanded to be born, and quickly started living his own life in the stories.

I believe I will be writing about Evangeline and Watcher for quite some time in 2012.
Pedro Ramirez's Amazon.com Author Page
Pedro Ramirez on Goodreads.com

Mall Demons Part 5: This Is No Dream; Free E-book

Here is Part 5 of the Mall Demons Story as released through Wattpad.com. This is part of the soon-to-be-released "The Chosen Must Fall," Book One of the Mall Demons Urban Fantasy Series. Some of the details have changed for the final edition. Much of the action has been expanded.

You can see some of the new material in my first Kindle e-book edition on sale for only 99 cents. You can participate in a limited time giveaway of the first e-book, too. Just check out my previous blog entry. OK... for now, here's Part 5. I must admit, Evangeline has decided to go her own way, as some powerful characters often do.

Evangeline knew she had to disturb him. Time had caught up with them. The enemy was at the gates.

"He looks so peaceful," she said looking through the apartment window.

"We must wake him," Watcher said.

"Unless… we appeal to him in his dreams."

"A dream sequence?" Evangeline inched closer to the window. A steady stream of rain hit it. Tink. Tink. Tink. Tink. Tink… "No. That's so 1st Century, Watcher. This generation has no patience for getting the story in a dream."

“Technology,” Watcher grumbled. “Times were much simpler back then. Maybe we can tweet him the news.”

Evangeline grinned. “No sense prolonging this.” She closed her eyes, and her body went transparent. Then she flew through the window and into Daniel's bedroom.

"Ready?" she asked. Watcher remained on the outside eyeing Evangeline.

"Oops. Sorry." She forgot Watcher could not move through solid objects. She concentrated. Watcher went transparent.

"Thank you," Watcher said once he was inside the bedroom with Evangeline. He was visibly put out by the reminder that his powers had diminished.

Evangeline knew it was best to pretend like she had not noticed Watcher’s reaction. She knew his millenniums-old frustration. Being an outcast had had severe consequences. Then again, she knew it was better to be an outcast on earth than to be a resident of Hell. And, she was glad Watcher wasn’t there.

"How do you think he will respond?" she said.

"One way to find out."

They moved closer to Daniel who was still asleep. Outside the thunder and lightning had quieted, but the rain continued falling.

"How should we wake him?" Evangeline asked.

"A slap always works," Watcher answered and grinned.

Evangeline gave him a disapproving look.

“I’m just saying,” Watcher stood at the foot of the bed. "It’s a thought."

Evangeline moved to the side of the bed drawing nearer to Daniel. Quite suddenly, without moving his head or any other part of his body, Daniel opened his eyes. He studied the room. His eyes darted: window, door, dresser, nightstand, then back to the window.

“Did you plant a thought into his mind?” Watcher asked.

Daniel’s eyes jumped to the foot of the bed. Like someone trying to bring the camera image into focus before snapping a picture, Daniel zoomed in on the nothingness at the foot of the bed.

Evangeline noticed. “No. Not yet,” she answered.

Still without as much as a twitch from any other part of his body, Daniel’s eyes jumped to the spot Evangeline was standing at. All he could see, however, was empty space. There was a growing sensation inside him – unnerving him. It had roused him from sleep. He saw nothing, but felt something.

“I believe that he can sense us,” Watcher said.

Evangeline moved around Watcher to the opposite side of the bed. Daniel’s eyes were searching again, then came to rest where Evangeline had stopped.

“I think you’re right,” she said.

Gently, Evangeline entered Daniel’s mind.

He heard a voice in his head. It was a woman’s voice. Pleasant, he thought. Soothing. Was it his imagination?

‘You’re not imagining things, Daniel,’ Evangeline said.

‘OK,” Daniel said in his mind. ‘I’m dreaming this is real.’

‘This is no dream.’

Daniel wanted to move. He was looking out into an empty room that didn’t feel empty. He was apparently having a conversation in his head with a woman who wasn't there. She had a nice voice. At least she wasn’t scary, he thought. But still, it was freaky. He didn’t know what to do next.

‘Relax,’ she said. ‘I’m a friend.’

Daniel really wanted to sit up. Maybe this was a dream. He was dreaming that he wasn’t dreaming and that a lovely, soothing voice was in his head telling him he wasn’t dreaming. It didn’t make sense, and his mind was racing. Why couldn’t he move? He concentrated on telling his arm to move. It didn’t budge.

‘I don’t like this!’ Daniel thought.

Move, hand! Move, arm! Get up! Get up, now!

Evangeline tried calming him. Daniel’s eyes were darting to and fro faster now. She could see his facial muscles quivering.

‘Please, relax,’ she said. ‘You’re OK.’

‘Yeah, right! Whoever you are. I’m so not OK!’

‘I’ll show you,’ she said. “See, here I am.”

Daniel turned his gaze to the nearest side of the bed. He actually heard with his ears the voice. It was close. She was close. That’s when he saw.

“What the?....”

It was as if dozens of tiny camera flashes were going off. It reminded Daniel of the scene with thousands of fans in the stands during the halftime show of the Super Bowl. The flashes here in his bedroom were orange, and with each flash, the picture became clearer.

Evangeline appeared her long orange hair resting on her cape which concealed her arms. Daniel noticed the shiny armor of her breastplate and the golden hilt of a sword. He asked his body to move again. This time it obeyed, and Daniel commenced freaking out.

*******

“It could have been worse,” Watcher said, standing over Daniel who was now face down on the floor twisted in sheets next to his bed.

“Worse?” Evangeline said, kneeling next to Daniel.

“Well, he’s not bleeding or anything.”

Evangeline tried reviving him.

“Daniel?”

He moved his head and moaned. His legs were tangled in the sheets. He used his arms to roll onto his back. When he saw Evangeline next to him, he pushed himself away until his back was against the wall.

“I’m not going to hurt you,” she said. “Relax.”

“Why would you say that?” Daniel asked. “That’s what bad guys say when they’re about to tie you up and torture you or…”

Watcher sighed. “This was so much easier before movies and television.”

“You’re not helping the situation, Watcher,” Evangeline said.

“Who are you talking to, lady?” Daniel asked. “What situation? Who’s Watcher?”

Evangeline closed her eyes. She focused her thoughts on Daniel. Her breathing slowed as she willed Daniel to calm down.

“Feel better? Calm?” she asked.

“Yes,” he responded. Daniel’s gaze was straight ahead and vacant like those volunteers hypnotists bring up to the stage and make do weird things like hop on one leg or bark like a dog.

Watcher stepped closer to Evangeline and Daniel. “You have him under your control?”

“I didn’t want to,” she answered, “but this will go faster if he’s calm.”

“I agree,” Watcher said.

“Daniel, my name is Evangeline. I’m here to help you,” she said. “Do you understand?”

“Evangeline. Here to help,” Daniel repeated.

“Yes. That’s my name. I’m a warrior angel in Heaven’s Army. I’m here with a message. You must listen. Your life depends on it. The fate of humanity depends on it.”

Daniel’s gaze was still fixed straight ahead. Evangeline reached out for Watcher who helped her rise to her feet. With all the angelic authority she could muster, she spoke the words that bound Daniel to his task.

“You have been chosen. It’s your duty to prove humanity should be spared… again,” she said. “Whatever we bind on earth will be bound in Heaven; whatever we loose on earth, will be loosed in Heaven.”

Hovering outside the bedroom window, a small demon watched. An orange light pulsed from Evangeline as she spoke the last words. The light enveloped her and Daniel. The demon shrieked then vanished.

Watcher turned, looked out the window into the black landscape. He searched the shadows, but saw nothing. He turned back to Evangeline and Daniel.

"They know," he said.

Free Mall Demons E-Book

So here's the deal: On January 7, I'm giving away 2 free Mall Demons e-books. If you want them, then simply post a comment to this blog entry to enter the contest. It's that simple! 

Some of you may have read the flash fiction story that started the whole Mall Demons Urban Fantasy Series. If so, then you will be familiar with the content of the e-book, which expands on the first story. In the end, I wanted to create a story that dealt with Good vs Evil. 

The Mall Demons Urban Fantasy Series is the result. The twist here is that the battle between good and evil is happening at a shopping mall. Have you been to a mall lately? Well, if so, then you may have encountered a demon. Yes, you probably have. Everyone is vulnerable. They want you to die!

Fiction: Mall Demons - In The Den Of Lions

Here is the third part of the Mall Demons story. Over the past several months, I have posted these versions on Wattpad. The novelized versions will be released soon. Until then, here they are in case you missed them.

Part Three of the Mall Demon Series

By Pedro Ramirez III

"To the ancients the air itself was a spiritual substance - a medium that could be felt, but not seen."

A little girl with dark, braided hair stood crying in front of the shopping mall entrance. Men and women brushed past her briskly making their way in and out of the mall.

A man in a suit ran out the door, knocking her down without looking back. He stepped onto a Metro bus. The girl sat where she fell. With her face in her hands, she continued crying.

"Sweetie...Are you OK?" A concerned woman approached the girl, set down her bags. With both hands on her walking cane, the woman knelt next to the girl.

The girl kept crying, her face hidden behind her hands.

"Where's your mommy?"

The girl's crying intensified. The woman shifted closer and tried soothing her.

"It's OK. Is your mommy inside?"

The crying quieted. The girl shook her head and spoke, but her voice was muffled behind her hands. The woman inched closer, strained to hear.

"It's OK. I'll help you find your parents."

The woman reached out to move the girl's hands from her face.

"Don't be scared. I'm here to help..."

The girl's sobs returned suddenly, louder as if several children were crying. The girl's outburst startled the woman. She searched the crowd hoping to find a parent. All she knew to do was to keep repeating the same words.

"Don't be scared. Don't be scared."

The sobs changed in tone and character. They sounded more like a laugh. The woman looked closely at the girl's face still hidden behind cupped hands. With preternatural speed, the girl removed her hands from her face.

The woman gasped. She fell back, dropping her cane.

"I'm not scared," the girl said. "Are you?"

The woman scrambled backwards like a crab. The girl launched forward. The woman screamed. She instinctively shielded her face. The girl's grotesquely large head was inches from the woman's. The girl's red eyes bulged, her wide, sharp-toothed smile stretched like a caricature from ear to ear. She laughed.

The woman was nearly lying prostrate on the sidewalk. The girl was straddled above her, chanting in a voice that sounded like a legion of girls speaking at once.

"Don't be scared…Don't be scared."

The woman was frozen with fear. The girl's hair in a braided tail rose into the air. The chanting continued. Her braided hair writhed higher. The end rose to its fullest length. As it did, the braid transformed into a hideous snake with slanted red eyes inside a pulsating black head. Its fangs dripped black venom.

"Don't be scared."

The woman screamed. She reached out for the legs of passersby. Nobody would stop.

"Please! Help!" The woman stopped. Everyone around her possessed the same grotesque red-eyes and sharptoothed grin.

They all were chanting now. And then, the snake struck. Its fangs punctured deeply into the woman's neck. Her head fell with a dull thud onto the sidewalk. The host of demons laughed. The little girl fed on her kill as if she had not fed in days.

"Enough!" The Watcher waved a hand in the viscous air as if he was running his fingers through water. The air rippled at his touch. A brightness radiated from the spot.

"Away!"

The Watcher pressed the spot with his palm as if pushing a button. A blinding light flashed. The demons turned to face him. The brightness reached them, and they froze. Their forms lost their shadows, turned two dimensional. The next second rain fell, and an orange streak of light sliced down from Heaven.

"Evangeline!" The Watcher called out.

The orange streak slammed down at the spot where the demons had killed the woman. The streak appeared as a sword, cutting off the snake's head. Reality split like a canvas curtain shred in half. The curtain halves fell, dissolving in the steady rain.

Evangeline took human form. Covered in a hooded, orange cloak, she was kneeling on the sidewalk in front of the Watcher. She lifted her head and removed her hood as he approached.

"That was completely unnecessary, Evangeline!"

His angry shadow covered her form. The rain had washed away all vestiges of the demon host. The mall was once again alive with men, women and children going about their daily activities blissfully unaware of the spiritual presence.

"Unnecessary, but absolutely satisfying," Evangeline said. She rose to her feet slowly - her head reaching his broad shoulders.

"Too much hubris," he said.

Evangeline walked past him.

"Ironic isn't it?" she said. "A Watcher talking of too much hubris?"

He turned to follow Evangeline. Her back was to him. She turned with a flourish causing her cloak to flare like a skirt.

"Isn't it?" she repeated.

The Watcher stepped forward and knelt before her.

"I forgot my place," he said. "Forgive me…I am at your service."

She looked down her nose at him like a school teacher scolding a pupil. Her mouth betrayed a sly smile. She playfully slapped him upside the head.

"Oh, please, Watcher!" she said sitting down on one of the newspaper boxes lining the curb in front of the shopping mall. "Can't you tell by now when I'm teasing?"

He looked up at her, but remained kneeling.

"For Heaven's sake get up, Watcher!"

He rose slowly. She motioned for him to sit next to her. She was now focused on the mall.

"Sit here. Watch with me," she said. "Like old times."

"Yes…old times," he said.

People were moving in and out of the mall. Some sat at the outdoor tables of the eateries that lined the sidewalk. A man wearing earphones approached the box Evangeline was sitting on. His hand went through her cloak and her thigh as he opened the door to pull out a newspaper.

"No matter how many millennia go by, that's always weird," she said.

Watcher nodded. The man with the newspaper walked toward one of the outdoor tables. He placed his backpack down. Evangeline noticed the name scrawled on the backpack.

"Lighten up. We're fighting this one together," she said. "Now, tell me. Is that him?"

"Yes," Watcher said. "Daniel is his name."

Daniel looked up from the newspaper. He looked past them. Not finding anything to focus on, he went back to reading.

"Interesting," Evangeline said. "As if he heard you say his name."

"We have seen behind the curtain to what will happen if he fails," the Watcher said, ignoring her comment. "The end will begin here."

"If I know you, you won't let that happen."

"I will fight the host of them alone if I must," he said.

"We are facing Sargas Vak," she said. "He destroyed his apprentice before I could exact retribution."

Watcher stood at the sound of Sargas Vak's name.

"He is here?!" Watcher scanned the mall roof and the tops of the lightposts.

"The one and only, she said. "Our generals will want to meet with him next."

"Sargas has walked with Death," Watcher said still scanning the area.

Evangeline hopped off the newspaper box. She glided as much as walked towards Daniel who was still reading.

"Back in the den of lions, Daniel," she said - not much louder than a whisper.

Evangeline felt a sudden chill behind her and didn't notice Daniel glance up from his paper.

The blow hit her in the chest. She collapsed. The master demon had appeared suddenly.

"Did you call on me, angel?" Sargas Vak, his dark, leathery wings outstretched, stood menacingly above Evangeline. "I hope you do not expect me to kneel."

Evangeline sat up, steadying herself with one arm firmly planted on the sidewalk. Watcher rushed to her. He squared his shoulders. Like two giant wrestlers, Watcher and Sargas Vak circled each other looking for a weakness to exploit.

"Try that on me Sargas!" Watcher shouted.

Sargas Vak roared and lunged.

"No!"

The angelic cry shattered the air with the full force of heavenly power. Sargas and Watcher crumpled to the sidewalk where they stood. Both of them tried in vain to shield their eyes and ears from the blinding, deafening pulse of light pouring from Evangeline's mouth.

"Insolent demon!" Evangeline drew a glowing sword from under her cloak. "I should destroy you here and now!"

The spiritual commotion went unseen by the people moving about in front of the mall. But Daniel looked up. Evangeline thought she saw him look towards her as if he was conscious of the spiritual realm. Then, she noticed Sargas rising.

"You will kneel before the power of the Almighty!"

Evangeline's words forced Sargas down again. Sargas strained to rise, the muscles in his arms and legs quivered.

"Look at me, demon!"

Her words forced Sargas to lift his head. Evangeline pointed her sword at him.

"Tell your master the battlefield is set," she said. "When it begins, you will feel my blade."

With a wave of her sword, Evangeline slashed the air. The cut opened, sucked Sargas in and closed once he was gone.

Evangeline helped Watcher to his feet.

"Come, my friend," she said.

"I see your love for theatrics has not diminished," Watcher said.

He noticed the large dent in Evangeline's breast plate as he rose. The tunic underneath was wet with blood. His tone changed.

"You're hurt."

Evangeline leaned on him. The sword slipped. Watcher grabbed it, wincing as smoke rose from his hand. With a grimace, he placed the sword in its scabbard. Daniel, only a few feet away, shook off the weird feeling he had just had and went back to his newspaper. Evangeline noticed.

"I must heal," she said, "but we must not be gone long. He will need our help."

This section has some significant changes from the version that made it into Book One: The Chosen Must Fall. I decided to post these so that readers can see how the story progressed from one edit to the next.

First Line To Mall Demons Prelude

First of all, I've been on Dayquil/Nyquil for the past two days. Woo-hoo! Da room is spinning!!

So since I'm in the perfect state for writing, I worked out my prelude to Book One of my Mall Demons Urban Fantasy Series. In the next week, I plan to release it as a Kindle Single in advance of the release of "The Chosen Must Fall: Book One of the Mall Demons Series."

I'm collecting quite a bit of feedback from my beta readers. One of the areas that drew the most criticism was in the characterization of some of my characters. So I added a few paragraphs in the beginning to address some of the criticisms.

As for my first line, here's what it is... so far:

Esperanza would not have smiled and waved goodbye to her husband if she had seen the two red-eyed demons hovering behind him. 

Chapter 5 in the Mall Demons Urban Fantasy Serial is Online

My first attempt at a teaser for Chapter 5 in the Mall Demons Urban Fantasy Serial. 


What happens now that the terms of battle have been set? Demons plan their attacks on the chosen one while Evangeline and Watcher visit Daniel to break the news. Can they prepare him for the coming war before it's too late?


Read the latest in the Mall Demons Urban Fantasy Serial. The forces of good and evil battle again. This time the fate of humanity will be decided at the mall.


OK... Let me know what you think.


Read Chapter One
Read Chapter Two
Read Chapter Three
Read Chapter Four

Looking For Writing Inspiration?

The last two days I have been nibbling at another part of my Mall Demons Urban Fantasy Series (Read the 1st part by following the link). Just kinda left it on the screen of my netbook, then in between chores and other duties, I've come back to it.


Today I left it on the arm of the couch. My fourth grader saw it and decided to offer some scene suggestions. I sat down at one end of the couch watching her tap away at the keyboard. Chicken peck because she doesn't know how to touch type yet.


Funny to see her go. It was just before dinner. It was her turn to do the dishes. Usually they have to drop everything to complete their chores. This time, however, I was fascinated at what I was seeing. I told her to go do the dishes.


"OK, but I have so many ideas. I have to write them down first," she replied without looking up from the keyboard.


I sat watching her tap away for about 20 minutes. Every so often she would ask me a question.


"How do you spell 'suddenly?'"


"What else did you want the angels to do in this scene?"


"Is Evangeline in this part?"


After a few more minutes, she handed me my netbook asking whether I was going to include her suggestions. She had typed several paragraphs. I told her I would look at what she wrote.


It was inspiring. It made me grateful for my passion. To see how it has affected my daughter was exciting. I needed that today. This was the inspiration I needed to keep writing tonight. I know tomorrow morning she will wake up and ask me if I'm done with my draft. She will ask me if I used her stuff. I'll have to figure that one out.


Have you made an impact on someone with your writing? Has someone inspired you to keep writing? Share your stories in the comments section below.

Part Four of the Mall Demons Series Coming!

The work week is over finally. Well, I have one more obligation I forgot about, but that will take about two hours of my time. The rest of tonight and tomorrow will be spent finishing the fourth and fifth parts of the Mall Demons Urban Fantasy Series.


I'm shooting for publishing on Sunday. Same channel as the others. In other words, you'll find it on Wattpad.com. I have been doing a little more research, and have found inspiration in several folk tales, legends and in some of the Old Testament books of the Bible. 


I might also add that I have started reading through several Stephen King short stories. Odd how my mother started reading his books when I was just a child. I often remember seeing her through the years with book after book reading in bed. And here I am now using those books as study guides.


Do you have an unexpected link from the past to your writing now? Share it.

Part Three of Mall Demon Series Published

Part Three of the Mall Demons Urban Fantasy Series is out. As the first two parts, the third part in the series is available to read for free online at Wattpad.com.


Things heat up in this part. You meet the Watcher, whose questionable past affects his relationship with the Heavenly host. Evangeline is the Watcher's chief ally. Together they are a powerful pair of warriors for Heaven. But are they strong enough to face the master demon Sargas Vak?


Want to read it for yourself? Go to Wattpad.com, and read "In the Den of Lions." If you like it, please vote for it, suggest it to a friend. As always, feel free to leave your comment below.


Read Part One: Death Speaks Loudest To Those Who Flee.
Read Part Two: Swift To Sin, Swift To Shed Blood.
Coming Soon: Part Four of the Mall Demons Urban Fantasy Series.

Part Three of Mall Demon Series Coming... Finally!

It's been a long time coming, but Part Three of the Mall Demon Urban Fantasy Series is coming. I am performing some last-minute edits now. 


I like letting a piece sit for at least 24 hours before I push the publish button. If you want to refresh your memory, you can still read Part One and Part Two of the series on Wattpad.com. 


Death Speaks Loudest To Those Who Flee - is the Series Starter where a man tries to escape his fate. Death, however, has other plans. Here you also meet one of the key characters in the series - the Master Demon. Read Death Speaks Loudest now on Wattpad. 


Swift To Sin, Swift To Shed Blood - is the Second Part in the Urban Fantasy Series. Here two sisters argue over a blouse with frightening results once the demons get involved. The Master Demon is forced to make a sacrifice when confronted. There's a scene here that my wife says will keep her out of the shopping mall restrooms for awhile. Read Swift To Sin, Swift To Shed Blood now on Wattpad. 


Part Three - Coming Saturday. The Master Demon regroups. The forces of Heaven enter the picture. Side note: After reading this part, my wife is convinced I have a weird and eerie imagination. You can be the judge. 


Please share your comments about the stories here, or vote/like them on Wattpad. If you really like what you read, please leave a donation using the "Donate" button at the top right of this blog. It's up to you how much you donate. Donating even $1 will help. If you have Paypal, it's even easier. 

A Little Help?

OK, I haven't really asked for much help, but I'm going to come out and ask now. So, if you're the kind that doesn't want to see someone begging for help, then stop reading now.

Still here? OK. Maybe you're curious. "What kind of help does this guy want?" The great thing about it is that I have options here. I'm assuming those of you still reading might be interested in possibly, maybe, if the dog doesn't need walking, per chance lending me a helping hand.

If so, here is what I'm asking. And by asking, I do mean asking. That means nobody's obligated to help. What I'm asking for is help in three areas:

1. Followers here on my blog.
2. Guest bloggers if you have a topic you'd like to write about.
3. And last but not least, DONATIONS to help me keep writing.

Followers? You can do it through Google Friend Connect, e-mail or other options you can find on the right side of the page.

Guest bloggers? Message me with your idea. You can scan my posts to get a feel for the type of content I write. It's mostly about writing, the writing life, books, etc. I am open to new stuff you don't see here. Just pitch your idea.

Donations? I know...this is a hard one, right. But think of me as the guy willing to wash your windshield at a red light for $1. I have a Donate button at the top right of my blog. The button is through PayPal. Have your own PayPal account, donating is easy. Credit cards work, too. And seriously, if $1 is all you can donate. I will be grateful for that.

There it is. Thanks to all for reading. I'm hoping to bring you more useful links in future posts. I am releasing my next part of the Mall Demons Urban Fantasy serials next week. I have other works about to be published online soon. I'll keep ya'll updated. As always, feel free to comment at the bottom of this post, or e-mail me at pramthree@gmail.com.